your mom and pops i'm a corporation

dear sprint cingular worker on 3900 south,
when i proposed to you today i think it came as a little bit of a shock to you
and i just really feel like if you knew the story behind it you wouldnt have renigged on your dinner invite...at least i hope.
you see the thing is i had had those numbers in my phone for a really really long time and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to delete them...i had tried everything...and the only outcome i had gotten was somehow doubling the numbers in the phone...
so not only did i have these unwanted contacts in my personal setting but now i had them twice....
i was so grateful that it took you three tries and two other phones to get the job done...i mean how sweet to not want to make me look completely incompetent ...this not only showed your patience but not to mention your jokes were really funny and i felt we really bonded whilst on this plight together...you see im really funny too...so much in common...
but when you finally got those numbers out of the phone it was like years had been lifed off my shoulders...and you didnt even shudder when my thank you came out as a teradactal like shriek

so you see when you wittily asked me if i would maybe like to replace some of the void now in my phone book over dinner sometime..well how could i be to blame for responding with anything other than ...

screw that marry me, im in love with you now

ok so maybe i overreacted but at the time it seemed like a fair trade to offer myself to you for time and all eternity for the service you had rendered...see not crazy at all......?